My name is Aiden and I'm what people call a "manny"; a man who takes care of kids. If you knew anything about me you'd probably think I was crazy for having this job and I probably am. In my defense, I didn't choose it so much as it chose me. It's a pretty weird story actually. I'll start at the beginning.
A few months ago I was on the phone with my older sister Addison venting about life and how I felt like I needed a change of pace and she threw out the idea of me moving to be closer to her and looking for new opportunities. Until I found something more permanent, I would work at her husband Jason's restaurant and his brother Travis had a room in his house I could use while I looked for my own place.
I couldn't find a flaw in her plane so two weeks later I packed up my car and moved six hours from the town where I grew up and everything I was familiar with to start this new chapter. The first few days were a little bit awkward getting settled in to Travis's house; it always feels weird to be in someone else's space but he was really welcoming. Everyone at the restaurant was great too and very patient with me and my lack of experience. Within a couple days I already felt like an expert at seating people.
While I took time to adjust and worried a little bit if I had made the right decision, my sister Addison took every opportunity to assure me I had done the right thing and telling me how thrilled she was to have me here. We spent as much time together as possible but she ran a dance studio and that took up a lot of her time.
You might be wondering how any of this led to me being a professional childcare provider. I'm getting there. Like I said, my sister was really busy with her work at the studio and for a while it was easy to take her kids Tina and Kiara with her when they were both really young. Moms waiting for their kids to be done with dance class were happy to play with a baby for an hour and then give her back.
But now that both the girls were walking and had way more energy, keeping them at the studio for eight hours a day wasn't an option anymore. And that's where Marissa came in.
Addison had met her years ago at a dog training class and they were casual friends. Sometimes when they both had an afternoon free, they'd walk their dogs in the park together and get coffee after. As years passed they both got busy and the meet-ups stopped but they still kept in touch.
When Marissa heard Addison was looking for a nanny she decided to throw her hat in the ring. She'd been doing childcare for years and loved the idea of working for an old friend.
I was at Addison and Jason's house the day she showed up for an interview and even though I didn't get a chance to talk to Marissa, she seemed nice and I wasn't surprised when Addison told me the next day that she had hired her.
The Monday she started, I happened to be off work and finally got to meet her. It was pretty obvious even on the first day that she was committed to this new job and already loved the kids.
Better you than me, I said to her, when Kiara started crying and Marissa was desperately rocking her back and forth hoping to calm her down. She just smiled at me and laughed a little.
I'm used to it.
I couldn't imagine ever getting used to the sound of a baby screaming at me but more power to anyone who can. Little did I know, I would soon be forced to become one of those people.
It all went down one day in the middle of the summer. I had just left the restaurant. I texted Travis to see if he wanted to get some food. He said yes but he had errands first. I went home to shower and change and found a plate of cookies in the kitchen.
Travis's fiance Hailey walked in and said she had made them that morning.
They have chocolate chips and peanut butter chips.
I asked if I could take some to Addison cause I knew how much she loved peanut butter. Hailey said, Of course. Take as many as you want.
So I grabbed a ziploc bag and threw two handfuls in it. Addison's house was only a five minute walk away and it wasn't hot so I decided I could walk. Even though it didn't feel super hot, it was apparently hot enough for the chips to start melting so I tried to walk a little faster to get them out of the heat quicker.
When I finally got to the house I opened the front door and heard some little kid show playing on the TV. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I would always get some jingle from these shows stuck in my head and then it would just play over and over till I went crazy. I don't know how Marissa put up with it.
When I walked into the living room she was there holding Kiara who was asleep and Tina was next to the toy box holding a doll that cried if you pushed its stomach and laughed if you squeezed its hand. Marissa looked over at me looking a little tired but she smiled.
I didn't know you were coming over today.
I held up the ziploc bag of cookies.
Hailey gave me these and I wanted to share them with Addison. Do you want one too?
She nodded at me and put Kiara down in some kind of little baby bed. I opened the Ziploc bag and pulled out a cookie.
They're chocolate chip.
Marissa took it from me and took a big bite. At first she looked pleased and I couldn't blame her. Hailey made some really good cookies. But then her face started looking a little pale and her eyes got really wide.
Do these have peanut butter in them?
Her voice sounded really hoarse and it seemed like she was gasping for air. And that's when it hit me. I had forgotten to mention there were peanut butter chips in the cookies and she was obviously severely allergic.
Oh my gosh, spit it out!
I yelled this somehow thinking she hadn't thought of that yet. She had already spit it into her hands and was gasping something that sounded like "empty hen." It took me a few seconds to realize she was saying "epi pen" and I yelled Where?? at her, probably more forcefully than I needed to but I was panicking. She pointed to the corner table next to the couch and then immediately collapsed on the floor. Her face was vaguely blue and I my heart was racing so fast I thought it would leap out of my chest. My instinct was to run to her but I knew I couldn't do anything to help without the epi pen.
I grabbed her bag and dumped the whole thing on the floor which felt so wrong. I had always been told to never go into a woman's handbag but that probably didn't apply if she was dying.
I looked carefully at every item that came out of the bag: chapstick, some tampons, a hairbrush, wallet, keys, pens but not the type that I needed.
I glanced over at Marissa. She was grasping at her throat now in the universal symbol for "I can't breathe." I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called 911. As soon as a voice answered the phone, I told them exactly what was going on. I had to be loud because Tina had tuned in to her TV show and was singing along with some jingle which would somehow but stuck in my head later.
The 911 dispatcher promised someone would be along soon and I hung up the phone feeling good about the situation. Marissa was going to be fine. I knelt down next to her and was surprised to see she had gotten really still. Her eyes were closed and even though her hand was still on her throat it was relaxed now.
I got a sinking feeling in my stomach and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a few beats. Even if the emergency medics showed up at this point, it would be too late. I had killed her with a cookie.
Now I know this next part is going to make me sound crazy if I don't already but I swear it happened. I was standing in my sister's living room staring down at her dead nanny while someone on the TV sang about how cool the alphabet was. And the next thing I know I heard a voice behind me that was Marissa's voice. And I'll never forget the first thing it said to me.
Aiden, am I dead?
No comments:
Post a Comment